With a resurgence of Black Lives Matter, continued focus on the Me Too movement, and changes in how we define and see “gender,” I felt I would need to apologize for writing about garden variety gender bias and discrimination. So I didn’t. This is the final blog for DifferenceWORKS. Thanks to all who read some of my 276 blogs. I wish great success to those still working for equity and inclusion.
There is little question about whether there are differences in how the average little boy and average little girl play. Some think that’s about nurture; some think it’s about nature. I think it’s about both. Parents today try to play down the gendered nature of toys and games. Boys play with dolls and girls play soccer (etc.). But differences remain.
On a panel of authors, each of us spoke about the passion that drove us to write, the process of writing and the publishing process. The passion that drove me to write was that I wanted to change the shape of corporate America (more women at the top); to help men and women see why the needle has moved so slowly in getting more women to the top – and what it will take to achieve true gender diversity; and to make the path easier for women. Writing it was easy and fun. Publishing it was scary and hard at times. I birthed the book. It has made a difference. Should I birth more?
After my Huffington Post article on styles of managing conflict, I continued to brood about my own way of handling conflict. Conflict has been particularly ineffective for me when it is with another woman. I find little redeeming value in the feminine (indirect) approach to conflict. And yet I have had little luck doing direct conflict (the masculine style) with women. When women have a dispute, it seems, both need to practice a direct but gentle form of conflict and manage the inevitable emotions.
When you need to solve a novel and important problem, what kind of leader do you want in charge? Does the word “decisive” make your list? What do we mean by “decisive”? Usually we mean the masculine decision style – moving straight to the goal. While this is often effective, the feminine decision style has different benefits, including creativity and buy-in. The feminine style is to gather ideas, synthesize and process. It takes more time but can avoid costly misses. The best leaders can make decisions in both masculine and feminine ways and value both ways in others.
